Understanding PTSD- Part 6, Why am I acting this way?
Here we are again. Something horrible has happened to you, something your brain and your body just cannot cope with and life just cannot get back to normal. You have those intrusive thoughts, mood changes, and just do not want to even think about going there. Then, you notice you are responding to things differently. These may include:
irritability and angry outbursts with little to no understandable reason why
self destructive behavior
increased awareness of your surroundings
being more “jumpy”
difficulty concentrating
difficulty sleeping
being highly sensitive to the body language, facial expression and tone of others
But why?
Your brain and your body are doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing to ensure continued survival. One of the most common responses I hear are “but it is over, what reason can there be for getting angry at (insert important person here) like I do or my skin crawling when (insert important person here) touches me? “. I hear you. It is super frustrating. These are the big symptoms that others see, the ones that can really impact our relationships. We want these gone! So first, lets understand the reason for them a little more.
Irritability is a very common and distressing symptom experienced by individuals struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder. It is characterized by a heightened sensitivity to everyday stimuli, leading to an increased likelihood of reacting with anger, frustration, or a short fuse. The thing is, anger and survival are closely connected. When you think of someone who has just experienced something scary, horrible…life changing…they are not smiling and laughing, no, they are focused and displaying other emotions. The anger helps with focusing on the big stuff…action needed to survive. Anger is also natural when something unfair or unjust occurred, which most often is connected to traumatic events. The big event may be over, but your body is not aware that the danger is over and it is ready to protect itself….so then with that comes the irritability and anger. You have to focus on survival, you don’t have time or energy for these little things. These are just a few of the reasons you may be experiencing that irritability. Those suffering from PTSD often find themselves easily provoked or overwhelmed, even by minor stressors that may seem inconsequential to others. This irritability can strain relationships, disrupt daily functioning, and further exacerbate feelings of isolation and frustration.
Self-destructive behaviors are also common. Individuals with PTSD may engage in activities that harm themselves physically, emotionally, or socially as a means to cope with their overwhelming pain and distress. These behaviors can range from substance abuse, self-harm, reckless endangerment, or even engaging in toxic relationships. Self-destructive behavior may serve as a temporary escape from the unrelenting memories and emotions associated with traumatic events. However, it is crucial to understand that these actions are maladaptive coping mechanisms that ultimately perpetuate the cycle of trauma.
One of the main symptoms of PTSD is hyper-vigilance. This heightened state of awareness and alertness can be exhausting and distressing for those who experience it. Individuals with PTSD often find themselves constantly scanning their environment for potential threats or triggers, even in seemingly safe situations. Hyper-vigilance can manifest as irritability, difficulty concentrating, and difficulty sleeping. It can make it challenging for individuals to relax or feel at ease, as their brains are stuck in a perpetual state of fight-or-flight. Your brain is doing it’s job by being aware of your surroundings, looking for little details (movements, tones, body language, words…anything) that may indicate action needs to be taken.
So, Now what?
Outside of therapy (cause duh), identifying ways to reduce arousal will help.
Use exercise to reduce tension and work through the fight/flight stage your body is stuck in. I found self defense and boxing to be quite helpful with this area.
Additionally, writing down your thoughts when you are angry can help get the words out of your head.
Pay attention to your body. It will give you clues to when you are getting activated. Sometimes it may be an increasing heart rate or sweat, sometimes you may notice your eyes darting around or looking for an exit. When you notice this, take a break away from the current scene.
Use grounding
Check out mindfulness to help with sleep and regulating emotions
Remember, you do not have to do this journey alone.
